Bullspit!: The Great Gun Debate

Written By Gleason

This is a letter the Vanguard received over the winter break. We debated and found that to give the Conservative voice equal place in our publications, we have to print it. 

“To whom it may concern, 

Hi, I am one of the few Republican students still brave enough to stand up for what I believe in. Lately, there have been many discussions and debates about whether those who own guns should be allowed to carry them on college campuses. I don’t see the problem, but many of my more liberal classmates see to find issue with it. 

My grandfather carried one AND my father carried one. I have every right to carry one as well, despite how my classmates, who I see for 2 hours a week, feel. I am sick and tired of this liberal snowflake agenda being pushed upon this great nation. The scaredy cats in power up on Capitol Hill won’t say anything but I will! This is The United States of America, not “The United Cowards of America” okay? Can we agree that if someone puts the money down, and they take responsibility, they should be allowed to have one wherever and whenever they want? 

My grandfather was one of this nation’s most decorated art supply store managers and he taught me from a young age that hot glue guns are not just a handy dandy tool for quick fixes, but a “Goddamn given right”! I may be one of the few Republicans who makes birdhouses and sock puppets, but I am still a member of this student body! And my voice counts! 

I say hot glue guns should be allowed on college campuses for the pure and simple fact that at any time, someone could come onto campus with felt and glitter and be left glueless. Is that what we want? A loose glitter and unsecure googly eyed generation? Why is it that cold glue is allowed, but not hot? This is ridiculous. 

Please print this, so that people with like minds and a fascination for hot glue can be heard! 

Sincerely, Gray A. Nelson” 

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