By: Serena Edwards
Humans are trained to be machines that are able to go through life without fully processing the traumas we experience. High-functioning behaviors have become so normalized that we live on energy drinks and caffeine in fear of falling behind. Society has pushed the narrative of “hustle culture” and has placed exerting yourself as the standard.
For Black women, being high functioning is engraved into our areas of work, schools, and even personal relationships.
With the context of emotions being deemed as a weakness and there being a lack of emotional intelligence within the younger generation and Gen Z, nonchalant attitudes have become the norm. ADHD within the Black community as a whole has been diminished, creating a level of ignorance around the ways it shows up in both men and women, causing more damage long-term when growing up. When not given the chance to fully understand and process their emotions, opting to succumb to society’s pressures to subdue their own emotions, humans are left in a constant state of emotional confusion and further thoughts of self-hatred.
Anxiety is commonly discussed, yet it presents itself differently for Black women. Many times, Black women are seen as “superheroes” or “always on 10” and are high-functioning adults. Striving for perfection and never having a chance to breathe is exhausting, to say the least.
Exhaustion isn’t something that comes instantly; it is built over time from not listening to your body. When your eyes start to shut more often or when your body is telling you to rest, and you keep pushing yourself, you start to run on fumes, lacking the same creativity and personality you once had. This is something that happens to many Black women.
Regulation needs to be a priority; learning the ways you function, what triggers you, and when to take a break is important to ultimate success personally. Setting a day aside where you either do nothing or pour back into yourself is important. These practices detach you from society and help you tap into yourself. You unlearn generational patterns and societal pressures and get back into what is truly of the utmost importance: yourself.
Specifically in marginalized communities, there is a push for us to work 10 times harder than the next person and to never get tired. It is embedded within us to work, and that when we rest, we are “lazy”.
Working like a machine that never has an off switch and never has malfunctions leads to ultimate mental destruction that is left unaddressed.
Black women have inherited the “strong” stereotype, where social presentation matters more than the actual state of mental health. Feeling like your world is falling apart because you can’t fix everything around you, or the weight of the world is actively crushing you, is draining. Constantly working to overcompensate for their parents’ hard work. But what happens when enough is enough?
Burnout, an effect of over-exertion that results in exhaustion in life, is seen as a failure in the eyes of many Black women when it should be taken as a lesson of guidance from the body. We tend to feel like prioritizing ourselves instead of others is villainized as selfishness; however, heroes need rest, too. We often sit and cater to the wants of others, and by the time we look at our reflection, we are being pulled in the next direction.
Specifically in America, we battle narratives depending on the situation. If it is a case where we are needed in protest and activism, or helping others, we are seen as superheroes
For Black women, success came at the expense of their sanity. Wanting to please their parents and let them know that their sacrifice meant something can lead them to overwork.
The oppression the Black community has faced pushes us to work harder because those before us fought for the opportunities we have today. This includes taking on multiple tasks to compensate for others or to get a head start because the anxiety of falling behind comes at a cost in the future.
The villainization of Black women’s emotions promotes the narrative of Black women being aggressive, which produces the way that they express themselves. This also causes a level of overthinking about themselves and the way that they interact within relationships.
Advice for my fellow Black women, we can not be everyone’s savior. We are only in control of ourselves.
Be loud, be emotional, you are a human, not a robot, regardless of the norms society continuously pushes on us.