By: Mars Marte
Can I make a confession? Suffering isn’t a symbol of success and shouldn’t be worn as a badge of honor.
Oftentimes, you’ll hear a friend, or someone online, gloat about the “grind mindset”, where one pushes themselves to their absolute limits in an attempt to reach some higher version of oneself.
Only this mindset leads to burnout and a haunting feeling of failure for not reaching inhuman standards. The ache of living is a natural part of life that often cannot be avoided or ignored, yet it also shouldn’t be embraced as a virtue.
This feels far less like a hidden truth, yet when observing a mindset dominated by modern media’s influence, this thought is in the minority. The current sentiment of ‘embrace the suck’, originating from the 2011 movie Beastly, has seeped into contemporary culture and spreads a narrative rooted in rejecting the principles of being a person: connection.
A while back, there was a small trend on social media platforms like Instagram where individuals post a caption “No one’s coming to save you,” which is then followed by another caption “but as long as they’re here I know someone’s coming,” while showing pictures and videos of someone they rely on for support.
This trend, while at first glance, offers a wholesome reminder of the value of our deepest bonds, it also evokes a chilling memory where children are often told that ‘No one’s coming’. While this is a truth of life, it is on us to figure out our own life trajectory; it’s a task that’s strengthened by our connections. This individualistic perspective highlighted in the trend shows that many people internalized the idea that they must face everything alone, and the effort it takes to unlearn the teachings of a society concerned with the individual.
As many are conditioned to reject support, they are also taught to see the struggle as an indicator of an individual’s achievement. Forms of expression like art now find themselves reframed through the lens of strife.
The idea of the ‘tortured artist’, a creative haunted by the turmoils of existence, has been upheld in recent years, shifting artist appreciation from their works to what they endured while creating.
Let’s look at Vincent Van Gogh, a legendary artist commonly associated with the “tortured artist” stereotype. When viewing his work in the present day, it is often associated with his battle with mental illness, which he fought for the majority of his life, according to historians at the Van Gogh Museum. While this context may offer insight, it often overshadows the art itself. It’s hard to imagine that Van Gogh would want his legacy to be defined primarily by his suffering.
Yet this is what happens when struggle becomes central to how we assign value. The conversation shifts from the work to the pain behind it.
Struggle becomes part of the appeal; almost a requirement. As if art created without suffering is somehow less real, less meaningful. Expression was never meant to be conditional. Not every piece of art needs to come from pain to be valid. Sometimes it comes from joy, curiosity, or simply the desire to create.
Reducing it to struggle strips art of its freedom.
If suffering is not something to be glorified, then the question becomes, what do we do with it? Some of the aches of life are often necessary growing pains that lead us towards our paths. Yet despite that, not all struggle is meaningful, nor is all of it worth holding onto. Avoiding it entirely is not an option, as agony has a way of inviting itself. The real challenge lies in learning to tell the difference between what shapes and what weighs us down.
Too often, we’re taught not to question what is and simply endure everything under the assumption that hardship automatically equals growth. This mindset keeps us centering our lives around the hustle and struggle instead of recognizing that it was never meant to be the focus.
The growing pains of life are here to stay, and that’s okay; they’re also a core part of living. However, we should not equate acceptance of it with the embracement.
Understand heartache will be here as long as our hearts continue to breathe life into us; do not confuse it for all there is. The game of life is messy, it’s confusing, and filled with a lot of pain.
Yet despite it all, life is filled with beauty our minds create, connections our souls long for, and the love our hearts pour. So look at the suck, look at the negative, say “I see you,” but don’t build your life around it. A task easier said than done, but one built into the hardware of humans.
As Julian Gough beautifully puts it, “The universe said the light you seek is within you”.