Do NOT Wear Costumes to Class!

Okay, story time: It was October 31, 2018. Halloween. I had Intro to Anthropology. It was a brisk autumn day and I strolled through campus on my way to class, the spooky season lightly dusting my smile. I walked through James Hall, up four flights of stairs, and arrived at my classroom.

I was the first one. As always, I felt proud that I showed up before anyone else. Being early made me feel like I was starting my day right, prepared. I walked into the dark classroom, found my desk and took a seat. I took out my phone, turned on my favorite podcast, and surfed Instagram. Then I got bored and put my phone down. But as I did, I was spooked by a figure walking towards me.

I saw horns and claws and fangs!

I fell back! I crawled across the floor! This fat atheist found a little religion and prayed! Then, the lights. The room was lit up and I faced my monster.

You see, while I was on my phone, my headphones cancelled the tones of the room and the bright light had darkened my perception past my phone. In that time, a classmate had walked in and made it halfway towards me. I just so happened to put my phone down as they approached. They assumed I was aware of their presence and was trying to greet them, so they came closer. Instead, I had a heart attack.

But what was this monster, with fangs and claws and horns? It was… a kitty. A very sexy, but very modest… kitty. My classmate, who I will not name, was in a very cute kitten costume, with little kitty ears, sharp glow-in-the-dark teeth caps, and gloves with fake nails hot glued to the fingertips. I am a coward and apparently, my cat allergy might be psychosomatic.

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