I’m Just A Bill (de Blasio)

I’m Mayor Bill

I’m de Blasio, Bill

And I want control of Capitol Hill

So while I’m out there campaigning, I’ve abandoned New York City

(Though my odds of a victory are looking pretty shitty)

To eat deep-fried crap in Iowa

For me they’ll vote, I pray that they will

‘Cause if not, then I’m still Mayor Bill


I’m Mayor Bill

And my podium will

At the CNN debate go unfilled

I claim I’m fresh and exciting and a true New York progressive

But the voters ain’t biting and my polling’s not impressive

I’ve got no support in Iowa

Bad polling may have slain Kirsten Gill

But today it won’t kill Mayor Bill

I’m Mayor Bill

A lame duck hunting thrills

‘Cause my job as New York Mayor’s a pill

So while the NYCHA is ailing and the subways are all stymied

Vision Zero is failing, and the cops are being slimy

I’ll be laying low in Iowa

I’ve got a lot of time I can kill

‘Cause I don’t want to be Mayor Bill

About Quiara Vasquez 16 Articles
Quiara Vasquez is the current, highly frazzled editor-in-chief of Vanguard and the former, highly frazzled editor-in-chief of Vanguard’s predecessor, Kingsman.