By Darlene Arvelo Almonte
“Ban male podcasts,” “I’m going on a man cleanse,” “Men used to go to war” – these aren’t just viral quips; they’re manifestations of a deeper force. Women’s disappointment with men is ringing loud and clear – like a 5 a.m. alarm crashing through that perfect wedding dream. 4B, a growingly popular movement in which women reject four traditional expectations — marriage, childbirth, dating, and sex with men, is now gaining traction in Western culture and informing a new collective for liberation from patriarchy.
Originating in South Korea and rooted in systemic resistance and radical independence, the 4B movement took its inspiration from the “Escape the Corset” movement and South Korea’s #MeToo movement. Peaking in 2016, “Escape the Corset” used the word “corset” as a metaphor for the societal mechanisms that bind women, most notably strict and toxic beauty standards. It called for defiance of consumerism and misogynistic social norms by forgoing “beautifying” enhancements such as cosmetic maintenance, surgery, makeup, and clothing.
A year later, the global #MeToo movement gained popularity and sparked a wave of sexual harassment survivors to share their experiences, hold abusers publicly accountable for their actions, and inspire social change. In South Korea, #MeToo brought forth numerous high-profile cases, mass mobilization, and demands for legal reform.
Gender inequality, particularly in the workplace, political leadership, and work-life balance, remains a pervasive issue contributing to the formation of these movements in South Korea and beyond. After the 2024 U.S. election results, the 4B movement spread like wildfire across social media platforms, gaining the attention of millions of women who feared for their freedoms at the hands of a continuously misogynistic administration.
The 4B movement encompasses 4 no’s: bihon (no marriage), bichulsan (no childbirth), biyeonae (no romance with men), bisekseu (no sexual relations with men). While men might frown in confusion at these no’s, many women recognize them instantly, almost instinctively. The experience is painfully familiar: marriage to men no longer serves women, childbearing is a literal life-or-death situation, romance with men is a disappointing endeavour, and sexual relations with men are even more so.
The latter of the above-mentioned quips — “men used to go to war” — perfectly exemplifies the shift. Relationships with men have historically evolved from merely amalgamation for safety and survival to a pathway for self-actualization. In a world in which women no longer depend on men for the fulfillment of these basic needs and instead expect emotional labor and intelligence, men seem to be falling short.
In response, women are decentering men in their lives, or rather centering women, by opting out of dating apps, setting boundaries with emotionally unavailable men, engaging in sexual self-exploration, investing in their female friendships, and providing for themselves the environment of self-actualization that men are failing to provide. From Reddit forums to tiktoks to New York Times articles, a quick search yields thousands of results on women decentering men — the why, when, and how.
While the opposite gender identifies the other side of this coin as a male loneliness epidemic, women see it as protection in a world constantly exploiting their lack thereof. The spread of the 4B movement beyond South Korea signals a profound shift in how many women across the world are choosing to confront systemic inequality. Rather than seeking change through traditional engagement with men or institutions, 4B advocates call for a radical reimagining of women’s lives – lives defined by autonomy, solidarity, and self-preservation.
“Marriage is not what I’m made for as a woman,” 4B feminist Ashli Pollard told USA TODAY. “I’m made for so many more beautiful things.”
In a world where patriarchal structures continue to fail them, growing numbers of women are deciding that opting out is not an act of hatred, but an act of survival. Whether viewed as controversial or necessary, the 4B movement forces society to confront a difficult question: if women no longer believe in the systems built around them, what will they choose to build instead?