By Ezae Darby
All good things must come to an end and this is no different. As my time with the Vanguard comes to a halt, I can’t shake this bittersweet feeling. With that, I ask myself this burning question: Did I do enough?
In August of 2020, my college career began. After having my high school experience snapped right at the wings, slightly before graduation, my first semester was almost completely virtual. During this time, I attended City College for one year. My major was Digital Design, which in my first semester alone, couldn’t be more grueling.
After changing my major multiple times, from Digital Design to Theatre and finally to Business, I felt as though I lacked a sense of purpose. My dream college experience had been robbed from me, and I was left with nothing but the scraps of the pandemic. After one long, wasteful year at City College, I decided to take a gap semester to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life.
In the Winter of 2022, I prepared for my return to the academic space. Vowing to never return to City College, I began to explore my options with an advisor. Eventually, we narrowed down my selections to Queens College and Brooklyn College. After being accepted by both, I decided to go with Brooklyn, feeling that the majors had more of an appeal to me. I didn’t know it at the time, but accepting their offer letter would arguably become one of the best decisions of my life.
In the Spring of 2022, the next chapter of my academic journey began. I stepped foot on the campus of Brooklyn College, welcomed by roaring greenery and captivating architecture. After coming to my senses later on, I would soon revoke my previous statement about the school’s architecture.
Attending classes at Brooklyn College started off very exciting. Gazing at the lecture halls intrigued me, and the exciting events, hosted by clubs like USG, made me feel even more welcomed than ever! Had I finally found my haven?
As the classes went on and the assignments raged, my feelings of confusion returned. After several attempts to make friends in my classes, I had little to no success. My classmates would either barely communicate on group projects or, in one case, just pry me for assignment answers. I did, however, meet my now close friend, Charles, in one of my courses, and from every semester on out, we registered for and took almost every single one of our classes together.
After getting into the academic flow, I looked into joining tons of different clubs that piqued my interest. After bouncing around from club to club, not many piqued my particular interests.
Despite building an impressive resume through my professional experiences at places like the Magner Career Center and Roc Nation, I once again began to question if I belonged in this space. That was, until I decided to join the Vanguard.
Writing has always been a passion of mine, one that I felt disconnected from for a long time. Taking up the position of a staff writer helped me to reconnect with not only college but my identity.
After having an exciting semester as a staff writer during Fall of 2024, I was gracefully promoted to Opinions Editor by none other than Rami, Paulina, and Kate. Although I loved writing, I lacked confidence in my ability to produce great work. However, I trusted their faith in me, and I moved accordingly.
In the Spring of 2025, I began my work as an Opinions Editor. I spoke to Paulina many times about my uncertainty in editing others’ work and whether I was truly the best person for this position. After eventually reassuring myself, I got into the groove of my new position. My work grew from an uncertain journey to a welcoming challenge. Late nights and early weekend mornings defined my weekends and filled me with more drive than ever.
Now, as a graduating senior, I can accurately define what my college experience was like. Despite all the failed courses and moments of strife, I wouldn’t change a single thing. College isn’t like the movies. It’s not about having perfect grades and going to frat parties every night. Your college experience is one that only you can define. All of those intimate moments where you feel at your lowest only serve to more accurately align you with your future, even if it’s not so obvious at first.
Thank you to every single one of the staff writers, editors, and students of Brooklyn College who entrusted me with this role. Being a part of the Vanguard has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, one that I will talk about for as long as time permits.
As I prepare to end this piece and say my farewells to the school, that bittersweet feeling creeps back up. Only this time, I embrace it with open arms. Thank you, Brooklyn College, and thank you, Vanguard.
Sincerely,
Ezae Darby